D&G Fall Winter 2010/2011

I love the D&G Fall Winter 2010-2011 Ad Campaign!

I think that it really brings up the holiday spirit in each of us!

Images via D&G

Snow Flakes

Snowflakes are falling down. One by one they cover everything around. They fall on my hands, my face; they fall on cars, on the road, on trees.  They remind me of something beautiful. They remind me of the perfection that nature is able to give birth to.  Looking at a snowflake I wonder how is it possible that a little drop of water can turn into a perfect  figure like that?

Well, yes, snowflakes exist in order to purify us. They are so white and perfect.  They cover all the dirt, the lies, the anger. They try to wash away all the pain and the worries, the tears and sadness.  They try to give us hope that tomorrow will be a better day.  That the following day will bring happiness and fulfillment that the world will change.

The world doesn't change.

What have we done wrongly snowflake? Why can't all this suffering, dirtiness, unhappiness and hardship be washed away? be covered in white fluffiness and purity? Why can't it be left back and forgotten?

WHY?

Where are the gentlemen and have all ladies vanished?

Have you ever noticed that manners and morals are not in style anymore?
As you wait to cross the street, people bump into you because you are in 'their' way, without noticing, without saying as little as 'sorry'?
Have you ever noticed that as you try to open a door, while holding a few bangs in your hands no one will help you, people will just continue passing by, following some busy schedule they have?
Have you ever noticed that cars will try to run you over while you cross the street only because you are not in a car and thus have no right to be on the road?
Have you ever noticed that girls walk, talk, act like boys? (They imitate men by imitating their rudeness and meanness so that they look powerful)

Have you ever noticed the teenager on a skateboard who almost ran over a young mother and her stroller, didn't say as much as 'sorry' ? Have you noticed that this act hasn't bothered anyone else on the street because they didn't care?

What have we become?
Where are out manners, our sensibility, our morals?
Why do we associate power and independence with rudeness and amorality?
When has good will become inappropriate?

The American Dream

The American dream refers to the desire of owning a house.  It has to be a house. A condo, townhouse, or the like do not count as much.  The desire of owning a house hunts people.  They are ready to work, to slave, to die for the house.
The homebuilders are not only selling 4 walls, they are selling dreams. The dream of having a family, of seeing your child grow in the house, of growing old in the house. All these dreams are unrealistic as not many people now can say that they are able to live in one place for the rest of their life, mainly because no one is sure that they will be able to work in the same region for many years.
As prices grew higher and higher, the quality of the houses fell lower and lower.  Nevertheless, the American dream is alive and thriving.  People dream of having a house. They dream of taking up a large sum of money from the bank and paying the triple or so of this sum over time to the bank in exchange of being the kings of their domain.
Isn't this price too high?
As long as people keep dreaming the dream, builders will keep selling the dream.  Nothing will change.
So, millions of people slave their entire life to pay the triple sum to the bank. In exchange                         they stress out, fall sick, and even divorce.  Children do not see their parents, parents do not see their children.  They all live in a dream.  Their reality of owning the house has turned to be less enjoyable than the dream. Nevertheless they hope that by the time they have paid off the house, they would still have time to enjoy their live in the house.
The children move out.
The husband dies.
The state sells the house and sends the lonely wife to the nursery home, so that there she can receive 'qualified care.' The money for the house pays for the last years of her life.  No one visits her as she became a stranger to her children because she was never there for them.
She lived the American dream. They all have.  Isn't it time to dream other dreams?

As Long as the Land Shall Last

Code of Ethics

1. Each morning upon rising, and each evening before sleeping, give thanks for the life within you and for all life, for the good things the Creator has given you and for the opportunity to grow a little more each day. Consider your thoughts and actions of the past day and seek for the courage and strengthto be a better person. Seek for the things that will benefit others (everyone).
   
   
2. Respect. Respect means "To feel or show honor or esteem for someone or something; to consider the well being of, or to treat someone or somethin with deference or courtesy". Showing respect is a basic law of life.
   
   a. Treat every person from the tiniest child to the oldest elder with respect at all times.
   
   b. Special respect should be given to Elders, Parents, Teachers, and Community Leaders.
   
   c. No person should be made to feel "put down" by you; avoid hurting other hearts as you would avoid a deadly poison.
   
   d. Touch nothing that belongs to someone else (especially Sacred Objects) without permission, or an understanding between you.
   
   e. Respect the privacy of every person, never intrude on a person's quiet moment or personal space.
   
   f. Never walk between people that are conversing.
   
   g. Never interrupt people who are conversing.
   
   h. Speak in a soft voice, especially when you are in the presence of Elders, strangers or others to whom special respect is due.
   
   i. Do not speak unless invited to do so at gatherings where Elders are present (except to ask what is expected of you, should you be in doubt).
   
   j. Never speak about others in a negative way, whether they are present or not.
   
   k. Treat the earth and all of her aspects as your mother. Show deep respect for the mineral world, the plant world, and the animal world. Do nothing to pollute our Mother, rise up with wisdom to defend her.
   
   l. Show deep respect for the beliefs and religion of others.
   
   m. Listen with courtesy to what others say, even if you feel that what they are saying is worthless. Listen with your heart.
   
   n. Respect the wisdom of the people in council. Once you give an idea to a council meeting it no longer belongs to you. It belongs to the people. Respect demands that you listen intently to the ideas of others in council and that you do not insist that your idea prevail. Indeed you should freely support the ideas of others if they are true and good, even if those ideas ideas are quite different from the ones you have contributed. The clash of ideas brings forth the Spark of Truth.
   
   
3. Once a council has decided something in unity, respect demands that no one speak secretly against what has been decided. If the council has made an error, that error will become apparent to everyone in its own time.
   
   
4. Be truthful at all times, and under all conditions.
   
   
5. Always treat your guests with honor and consideration. Give of your best food, your best blankets, the best part of your house, and your best service to your guests.
   
   
6. The hurt of one is the hurt of all, the honor of one is the honor of all.
   
   
7. Receive strangers and outsiders with a loving heart and as members of the human family.
   
   
8. All the races and tribes in the world are like the different colored flowers of one meadow. All are beautiful. As children of the Creator they must all be respected.
   
   
9. To serve others, to be of some use to family, community, nation, and the world is one of the main purposes for which human beings have been created. Do not fill yourself with your own affairs and forget your most important talks. True happiness comes only to those who dedicate their lives to the service of others.
   
   
10. Observe moderation and balance in all things.
    
    
11. Know those things that lead to your well-being, and those things that lead to your destruction.
    
    
12. Listen to and follow the guidance given to your heart. Expect guidance to come in many forms; in prayer, in dreams, in times of quiet solitude, and in the words and deeds of wise Elders and friends.

Stereotyping or Talking Behind One's Back

People always think that they would like to know what other people think about them, what other people talk about them, and how other people see them, especially in their absence.  We tend to think that if we were hidden somewhere so that nobody could see us, then we could hear the truth.  The simple truth that people think about us. BUT are we able to handle the truth?

A friend says to another: you are pretty. And means you are ugly, I am prettier.
A co-worker says to another: nice presentation. And means it was stupid, it sucked, you suck, mine was better.
Family friends come and say that your house looks nice. And mean, it is ugly, your style is ugly, you don't know how to decorate.

A white person sees someone who doesn't look like them and thinks that they are dirty, stupid, foreign, way lower than him/her on all imaginable levels and merely a barbarian.

When should we stop? When is it enough living in a facetious world where words have a totally different meaning, where love means hate and different means bad?
When would people start saying the truth in our face?

My friend told me once that she prefers the bitter truth to sweet lies.  BUT are we all able to handle the bitter truth? Aren't we already so accustomed to the sweet lies that we aren't willing to accept the bitter truth and deny it with all our souls?

So, next time your friend asks you something try telling the truth and stop thinking that someone is bad just because he/she looks different. May be little by little we are still able to improve.

Although I am pessimistic in people's desire to improve and be better.

Until then, I will work on learning to accept the bitter truth,

S.C.

Memories of a baby bump

When I think about my pregnancy I always say to myself 'If I only knew...'
If I only knew that it is not scary to be pregnant, not scary to give birth...
If I only knew that the great majority of doctors are there to instill fear as opposed to help (2 out of 4 doctors scared me to death about non-existent issues! But they said better safe than sorry... I only realized later on that they like to keep us in fear so that we continue going to them and so that they continue accumulating money on our behalf. What better way to control a person than keep him/her in a state of fear??? My advice - trust your body and not them! If you have a bad feeling - run for your life, change the doctor do not stand there and do nothing! Trust your instincts, they never lie! I changed one last doctor (have been to 4 in total) and finally got a very very very nice doctor (for those from Ottawa - THE place to go is Montfort hospital).
If I only knew that I should have read books and consulted websites about the first few weeks when the baby was home, so that I wouldn't fear everything and would know how to change a diaper :) instead of reading non stop about pregnancy and birth and watching TLC 'A Baby Story' for hours every day!
If I only knew that pregnancy and labour are nothing compared with the actual daily job of raising a child! No one will tell you that when you are pregnant but as we deliver the bundle of joy our job just stars there as opposed to stops!
If I only knew that I would like to see pictures of my weekly or at least monthly baby bump now and I only have a few ( didn't like taking pictures then)...

However, I never knew that the first time I would see my baby I would think that labour and pregnancy were all worth it just to see the tiny creature looking at me...
I never knew that the moment I would hear him cry for the first time would be the happiest moment in my life.
I never knew that we, mere human beings, are capable to witness and participate in the miracle of life.

I am not saying that having a child is easy - it is not.  I am saying that a child makes your life worth living.

S.C.

Equality or Myth?

While people always think that they are the ones who are better than everyone else, they also have the assumption that equality exists, or that everyone has the same chances to succeed. So, if you are bright and strong, you will succeed, even though your friend who is weak and stupid might have the same chances to succeed.  Your friend, however, is weaker and more stupid that you are and this is why he couldn't have used the chance to succeed in order to indeed succeed.
Equality.
Everyone is equal.  The capitalist society offers everyone the chance to succeed and bee someone. It is in your power to be great.
Is this the case?

Man and woman are equal.  They have the same chances to succeed. To earn money, which is the one and ultimate goal in our society.  To become someone.  Virginia Woolf witnessed the time when women have been given the right to vote and to work in the 'professions' (in the professions for which education was necessary).  She writes that they earn 10% of what men earn.  She hoped that one day this will not be the case.  In Canada (as well as everywhere else in the 'developed' world) women earn a fraction of what men earn.  63%.  It is argued that men are the head of families and they NEED to earn more so that they are able to support their families if their women decide to be housewives.  OK. Up until now it all seems fair.  Now, let's bring single mother into the equation.  They are the head of families.  They still earn less than men occupying the same position and with the same education or lack thereof.  How can they support their families? No wonder that families headed by women live below the poverty line.  How is this fair? How are women presented with the same opportunities as men? Where is equality?

The capitalist society uses women when it needs them.  If there is an abundance of jobs women are called to fill them with the slogans of equality, feminism, and the high value for women in our society.  On the other hand, if there is a scarcity of jobs, women are called back home, to fulfill their jobs as mothers.  The argument is that society needs women to be mothers and in this way they do serve as precious members of this society.
If motherhood was indeed an asset in this society then it would have been paid (as money is the greatest value in capitalism, thus each job should be awarded a price; plus without money one would perish in this society).  Mothers, however, work for free at home, and for half the price of men at work.  Thus, there is no gender equality.
Moreover, women are made to believe that they are equal, they need to work, they have to strive for success however visible the 'glass ceiling' may be.  Why? Because they constitute a cheap and qualified labour force.  What is the result - the creation of a new species: bitter man-woman, desiring to have a family and children and envying those who do have them, but at the same time too afraid to lose their carriers.  This species is never accomplished, never satisfied and never happy.
What about men? Is one man as capable or fulfilling his potential in this society as another man? Have two man equal chances to succeed, ear money, be useful? The answer is unfortunately 'no.' While we often turn our finger to third world countries criticizing them for nepotism, same is true here.  One man with connections and relations has way more opportunities to land a good job than another man with no connections and relations even though, let's assume, that they have the same education, characters, etc. (all qualities you may imagine).  Sons of politicians or businessmen become ministers, young party members become prime-ministers, etc.

Equality, you are a fake term that makes capitalism a fairy tale of dreams and opportunities.

S.C.

What's the Word on the Street?

People are always thinking that they are the ones who are: better, smarter, kinder, etc. than everyone else. Nevertheless, there is always someone brighter than you. No matter how hard it is to recognize it.

The other day walking on the street with my baby in the stroller I overheard a conversation by an expectant mother. She was walking with her friends and decided to show how much smarter she is than everyone else. Well, taking a judgmental look at me she decided to say: "And that's why one should have babies when one is old enough." First I ignored this remark.  I was pretty busy and in no good mood that day. However, soon enough I understood that 'one' means me! She actually meant I was too young to have babies. Well, Thank you very much for the complement, miss. I am no youngster, however. Yes, I do take care of myself, follow some trends in fashion, have my own style and favourite designers. Yes, I like to look young, but am not a teenager! I am a married woman, and have a child that we actually wanted, (no surprise child thank God).  So, I started analyzing the situation.  Do I look young or better say do i look like I am a teenage mother to deserve such remarks?
First of all, I am not wearing my wedding bad - society has decided that a married woman should be recognized by this item of 'necessity' whoever doesn't wear it, is an outsider of this society, does not belong or simply does not want to fit in and obey the norms and rules that the society has established. I am no rebel, simply the ring doesn't fit me, since I am breast-feeding.  So, because I was not wearing my ring, I was placed with those who aren't married, too young, and therefore without the knowledge or how to take good care of a baby - this is why I should have had children when I would have been old enough!
Second of all, society has decided that a woman with a child should, could, would not know/care/want to take care of herself.  If one is not married and has a child one needs to attract the male attention and therefore would invest some effort into looking young/well.  Society has decided that mothers should look like zombies. This is not the case. Any woman who has even some self respect will find 5 minutes to try to look good.  I have friends, relatives, people I just know who do that. It is not even for your husband but for yourself.  Otherwise, if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, how can you bring joy and happiness to your bundle of joy?
So, can I assume that I had my baby at a wrong age just because I am not wearing my ring and take some care of myself (sometimes I cannot invest the 5 minutes, but I try to, into looking human)?  Therefore, my dears, do not jump to conclusions.  Time will come when you too will hold your baby and think that you are still a woman and live in this world not in some imaginary reality.  No, it is bad to judge.  The word on the street is almost always wrong.  Some people are not better than other by saying they are, it is our actions that prove who we are not our tongue.

Today, I was waiting for my husband to go for a walk with my baby in the stroller. The hat fell on my baby's eyes before I had a chance to check on him (I do that quite often).  A stranger came to me and told me that my baby's eyes are covered, is that OK? I said 'thanks'. I thought: Would you say the same thing to someone who looks old enough to have children? To someone who wears her wedding band? To someone who walks with her husband (not just waits for him, looking as if she is alone)? Would you try to educate someone who fits the picture of a mother? The picture that society has painted? Or is it our customs and convenience? The age when time is precious but money even more precious when people have no time for people and the woman becomes a zombie with no time for herself and with no help from her husband who nevertheless has time to look at younger, beautiful girls who are not women yet (you become a woman once you have a child not when you lose your virginity) and who still take care of themselves?

People are always thinking that they are the ones who are: better, smarter, kinder, etc. than everyone else. Nevertheless, there is always someone brighter than you. No matter how hard it is to recognize it. 

Be good,

S.C.